Wednesday, 22 June 2011, 09:49
DREAMI dream, almost every night.
But unlike those in movie, I am not haunted by the same dream, not anymore.
Different dreams, however, there were few that I dreamed twice.
What was funny is I recall the dream when I dreamed it the second time, telling everyone in my dream that I dreamed this before/came here before, started telling them what's gonna happen next.
But this just happened once or twice.
Sometimes, I remember every piece of it when I wake up.
Sometimes, I don't, just some flashes, perhaps.
I do believe some of our dreams are affected by what we are thinking/doing in the day time, or our worries and future planning.
There are times I dream of some people, that I never expected I would because I didn't see them in my life or at least they are by passers, to me.
While there are times I dream of some people, knowing they were standing beside me, but faces were blurred, like they are not meant to be revealed.
Before I moved to my current house, when I still small, all my dreams were about me being chased by strangers, almost everynight.
Guess what those people did to me whenever they caught me? You'll nvr guess this.
They were tickling me, as though my feet were grounded and I had lost my voice, it was the worst nightmare I can ever have.
Imagine hundred of people tickling and you are unable to run or cry for help. Just standing there, helpless.
Sometimes, I suddenly woke up, heart beating with a thousand rate, gasping for air.
And if I closed my eyes again, I would go back into the dream, suffering the tickle fear.
I had to make sure I was totally awake and my mind was clear, so that I could back to sleep and pray for a better dream.
Apart from the chasing, at the same time, I knew my 'mission' in the dream, was to find my mother.
Like any other kids, I like to play hide and seek with my parents especially in shopping malls, hiding inside the fitting rooms or behind the rows of clothes. Normally, parents ignore the game.
I figured that this has to do with the hide and seek I always put up in the day time, which was reflected in my dream, that I lost track of my mother.
I relied a lot on my mother since I was very young, so I was searching everywhere for her, panicky. Mostly the searching was inside the shopping mall, as I said, related to the day time routine.
Sometimes, I found her, some where shopping happily, like she never lost me. But once I turned away for a second, she was gone again when I turned back.
Then I would cry and shout and search for her AGAIN.
The chasing and searching made my dream horrible, and those nights, unbearable.
A relief that this dream was not haunting me anymore, because I had moved to another house or because I grow up? I had no idea.
Whenever I think back those nights, that dream, my palms still sweat.
Labels: Bite of Life, Done with past
