Consider this my first post of 2012
Never plan to ever come back to this blog anymore. Seriously I dont have a habit of writing blogs or diaries.
Idk what brings me back here. Anyway I will try my best to update once in a while from today onwards.
So let's do a quick update on what had been happening lately.
Just celebrated my birthday and I am officially 21 ! Yay to the 'legalization' and Oh No to getting older.

Labels: Bite of Life, Crappie, Moments, Special Events

Labels: Bite of Life, Crappie, Voice of Heart

Labels: Bite of Life, Crappie

从什么时候开始，我们不再拥有对方，我们不再遵守诺言，我们不再天真，我们不再记得那从前的从前。


我曾经...


吃醋过
生气过
抱怨过
抓狂过
反省过
伤心过
痛苦过
放弃过
后悔过
麻木过


直到，我什么都不做了，不想做，也不再知道该怎么做了。

Labels: Bite of Life, Crappie, Done with past

Hello! It's late 11 now and I am in Singapore. Came here for a small visit to my relatives and tour around. Guess I will be back in 2 days time. More photos in my next post! Actually I did not took much photos so don't expect much haha
It's merdeka in an hour time. Time flies, like a roller coaster, my class starts next month and I am still on holiday mode.. didn't get to enjoy much of my three months holiday:(



Stay tuned ya :)

Labels: Bite of Life, Crappie

Labels: Bite of Life, Crappie

We are taught to be grateful, of what we had and cherish what we have.
But human are greedy , they would never be satisfied with their life.
And though they know it, complains are what they fill their life with.
Pathetically to admit, so am I.
I had once heard that we need a certain amount of wealth to survive, to fulfill our needs. Anything beyond that amount, is just to fulfill our desires, to upgrade our life.
A very good question were asked, ' Do we live on our needs or desires? ' However, needs and desires are not easy to distinguish anymore...well at least for me..

Moving too far from my point d ><
My point is, in life, we complaint A Lot. Everyday, friends around me or whenever I on facebook, I can see people sighing of their bad appetite, complaining the traffic jam or how their boss not being understanding.
Life aint gonna always be the way we wanted and complains aint gonna make our lives better.
Somehow, we are the cause of the way our lives turn out to be.
I hate to be such a weak and complain-on-everything freak but I just couldn't help it. It is hard to breath when have to say okay to everything and everyone.

There are things and people that I now officially can care less and move on.
Looking back at how things went from bad to worst, I really hoped it would ended in a better way.
But at least I tried my very best in puling everything back together and I had no regret.
I love to get inspired by different people, because they teach me to look things at different perspectives and learn from my mistakes.
Which is one of the reasons I can move on from my past, as I learn to take the blame on my own and not making the same mistake twice.

Labels: Bite of Life, Crappie

Labels: Crappie, Done with past

谢霆锋和张柏芝婚变

最近常常听见有关谢霆锋和张柏芝婚变的报道
还记得他们曾经是娱乐圈子里的金童玉女，模范夫妻
影王配影女，绝配
有谁会料到，短短几年的婚姻和两个孩子的诞生后，他们竟会走上婚变的路。
有时后，被看好的，结局往往是出乎意料的。
我原以为陈冠希和张柏芝的事，会影响到谢霆锋和张柏芝的感情
怎知道谢霆锋的一句 “我不恨陈冠希也不怪张柏芝”，就变得风平浪静了
反而这次，可说是让我跌眼镜
俗语说，无风不起浪，可能他们的问题早就存在，只是等时机成熟罢了。
其实，这是他们的家事，外人也只能关心但也不需要分帮派，批评任何一方的责任以及对错。
尤其是媒体的报道，更是不堪入眼，完全剥夺了艺人的隐私权
我相信牵涉在内的有关人物已经承受很大的压力，外界应该给他们空间冷静的思考
相见容易相处难，婚姻并不能带给男方或女方什么保障，它是一个很重大的责任，有时候会让人透不过气。
眼下的人，结婚和离婚一样的简单，签个字就行了，已经没以前老一趟那种约定今生想法了。
虽然我很羡慕那些拥有美满家庭的人，但也保留少许的质疑。
但愿谢霆锋和张柏芝的婚姻可以经得起这次的考验，别让我对婚姻那少许的期待和信任都剥夺了。

Labels: Bite of Life, Crappie

Jan !!!! You are gonna stress yourself out in the end if you continue behaving like this !!!!

Labels: Bite of Life, Crappie

Crap

Finally I am done with my finals. Here comes my looooong holiday (:
There are so many things I wanna do, yet the time seem so little.
I hate to be so dull because I am supposed to enjoy my holiday and have fun..
have fun while I am still schooling, while I am still young...
but, when I thought of all the problems, all the decisions and all the obstacles..
I can't help but being a girl that is full of sigh..
Do you believe in destiny? That we are all destined to be someone in life? 

I wanted to go for a vacation, Hong Kong or Korea at first because I am so crazy about shopping (: shopping heals me..
after the second thought, Italy would be a better choice..
I heard it is a beautiful country, with all the romantic places to visit and the cute boys to eye on..
It is not easy to find a great partner to go along :)

There was a phrase, told by my friend
'Money is not a problem, the problem is No Money.'
So damn helplessly true..
Sometimes things aren't the way it appeared to be, perhaps way much complicated or just you thinking too much

I shall run and run, running away and hiding 
it'll still be there, starring straight into my eyes
and laughing at my stupidity and cowardness
for it'll forever be there, just a mile away, laughing at me.

Labels: Bite of Life, Crappie

沙啞
好像好久都没上来这里了，感觉有点空虚
最近忙于我的考试，考完试就要去做份短期工了，答应了我老板
反正考完试，我也一身忪了，我想我应该会不习惯那么空闲的日子吧


最近我有好多好多的感触哦，或许是悲哀吧
觉得人嘛，一辈子除了父母以外，必备的就是经济依靠。
不对吗？出去也是钱，吃喝玩乐交通费，在家也是钱，水电煤费统统都是钱。我个人很认同一句话，一句很土的话，有钱不是万能，没钱万万不能。人没钱，就去挣钱;不会挣钱，就学挣钱；不想挣钱？那老娘点你一条明路，去投胎户有钱的家，含着金锁匙出世，那你打断脚也不用忧，可要确保那户家的钱够你吃一辈子而且不会中途断源。这世界没有穷人，只有不挣钱的人。但这也只是大众化而言，也有形势所逼或特殊的案例。
怎么我谈起经济经来了呢？好笑的我。


话说回来，我也有点担心自己毕业后不能找到份好的工作。怎言为好工作呢？高薪，高福利，好上司，优环境？ 我也不晓得。担心也是白费的，那也是两年后的事。（虽我知那只不过是转眼间的事）


我妈那天，问我是不是同性恋。其实这不是她第一次怀疑了，但之前也只不过是开玩笑的问。这让我觉得有点可笑，也有点懊恼。可笑的是，她以前常反对我谈恋爱，老是盯得我紧紧地（连我亲戚也替我感到可悲，说我老妈太保守）；现在却担心我没人追，搞同性恋。懊恼的是，我也不知怎样回答她；否认嘛，她信吗？反过来问我怎么没人追，还是我吓跑了追求者？承认嘛，我看她会心脏病爆发。 呵呵
反正这种事也是不能急。叫我随便挑个，我宁愿做老姑婆。宁缺不滥。

跑在路上 找個地方 音樂能盖过吶喊至少一百分貝路人肩膀 撞了就散 狠一點 兩天三夜不睡試著無所謂 流過 氣過誰 把自己累累累到了極點不讓誰騙騙騙騙我眼 不再管誰錯誰對我累 心不再破破碎碎狼狽
傷了就傷 該放就放 大聲叫 大聲唱 大哭一場不在乎 我要 一邊哭 一邊笑 一邊忘泪泪泪就此終結 愛情的是是非非都作廢自由的飛飛飛我的世界 把相片碎碎碎成紙削
音樂越大聲 越囂張 越不管 愛愛愛愛愛愛愛只是這樣 跟著大聲唱 更囂張 更不管聲音都沙啞 沙啞了繼續唱 不然要我怎麼樣DJ不停放 從不間斷 我跟著釋放我仍沙啞著沙啞的大聲唱
路人肩膀 撞了就散 傷了就傷 該放就放

Labels: Bite of Life, Crappie, My Favorite

Shut up and cry to ownself


I used to believe 'sharing is caring'.
But today, I rethink about that. I guess I am a selfish person afterall.
I don't want to share with anyone. I want it to be my own, just me.
Perhaps is because the place I came from, I had been taught to trust no one.
I am not sure how many burden can I handle, before I get insane.
I have never told anyone about one matter, the most important matter in my life.
Everyone has at least one darkest secret, which they want to keep to themself and never be revealed.
Cause no matter how well you explain and describe, no one will understand the feeling better than ownself.
So, why revealing? Ya, shut up and cry to ownself.
I have tried to be understanding, a better person.
Maybe it wasn't that obvious, but at least I tried.
With just one call, one sentence, one act, hope can be destroyed.
It really xxx hurting when you are the 2nd choice, always. When all the while, you thought you are the 1st.
I doubt about friendship, marriage, relationship, and even my parents.
How a life can be ruined by wrong choice and stubborness.
Did I expect too much from my life? Maybe because I was pampered or had not been thrown by any obstacles yet.
I am a very traditional woman, I don't accept things that go against nature or culture, which is why I imagined the world beautifully, such an idiot I am.


Yes, I wanted to go for a bungee jump. Thou I knew I would hesitate when I am tied to the rope, before stepping out.
One day, I will.

Labels: Crappie, Sophisticated

Just Breath


Human always like to compare the present with the past because they know nothing about the future.
Comparing their girlfriend/boyfriend with the ex,
Comparing adolesence with childhood,
Comparing so many things, when you know it makes no point.
Human never learn to be satisfied, we just want more and more..
till we are under ground.


Do you ever felt like 'it has been a long time since...'
I do feel that lately..
One of it is 'it had been a long time since I last blog'.
I have been busy rushing my assignments. It was exhausting.
Not that I am free of it now, but just left 2 more to go.
So I sneak up here and blog about 'whatever' I want.
That's the purpose of blogging right?
However, for some people, the more viewers they have, the 'faker' they get.
Taking all kinda pictures and video, fake about stuffs just to get more attention and entertain others.
Perhaps blogging mean differently to different people.
And one more thing, no one has any right to judge about others' blogs.
unless, you are one of the topic, that is another different case.
Although I do admit, some of the blogs I came across were pretty annoyed but there is a 'X' at top right corner.
Just click that and problem solved.


Went sing K with my classmates yesterday, since we had 3 hours of free time before the next class started.
Not bad~ I dont mean the food, but the singing session.
For rm10, you get a lot of food and songs to sing. Isn't that awesome?
I thought of going to k room solo, so that I can sing all the way~ without people beside me suffering =P
but will that be kinda weird?? I dont know =X shall try one day..


Has not been hanging out lately, I am so OUTDATED lol
No heels, No makeup, No new clothes, No new bags and No new friends.
Just school and homework and lotza assignments.
Sometimes I feel like dressing up 'awesomely', as in fashinable yet comfortable..
I once said, 'If you care too much, you'll never reach success'.
and it's true, because I do care about how do I look in people eyes, I dressed up 'normally'.
Kinda ironic huh?
'You pretend because you care'
So when you stop caring, you stop pretending. Eventually the real you will show up and shines on its own.
But trust me, no body want to see the real you, even they said so.
Cause truth is always ugly, so does the true you.
Perhaps everyone is beautifully borned, but contaminated when they tried to survive in this century.


Anyway all these are just pieces of my mind. No offence towards anyone or anything.

Labels: Crappie

24.03.2011

How good my life will be If I never met you before.
I wished I can ignore your existence, treat you like a total stranger, make no comments about your life, stop talking to/about you, without feeling bad doing all these things.
You seems fine about everything, with or without. me.
Sometimes I wonder how would you be, If I stop concerning about you or just get out of your life.
Maybe you taken me for granted all these times, Maybe you are just pretending.
God knows what is in your mind.
You know what? I should just give those attention to myself a little more, and you, a little lesser.
I am sorry if I break my promise or backing out, but I just feel that my care means nothing to you.
Actually, I did not break any of my promises, I will still be back into your life. when you are ready for me.

Labels: Crappie, Done with past

Heyoowee, finally I have a 'little' time to update my blog.
Lately I am soo free busy with my school's assignments till I barely can breath.
Let's just skip the assignments' details, I don't wanna bored any of you.
One bad news, I lost my pendrive today. ): AGAIN.
I always forget to unplug it out from the CPU especially at school.
Because it's located way down from my sight.
I didn't do any back up this time, and I have a few work in it that I just edited this morning.
I searched and searched my whole bag, thinking, " Pendrive, dont play hide and seek with me! I need you badly!!"
Perhaps I am too stressed of the assignments lately, or my memory had gone bad..
I don't remember things as good as I used to be..memorizing as well..
It's a sad thing for me, as I use my brain alot, to store school things and memorable memories.
What to do, we are just human. (:
Anyway, I called to my school just now, asked them to check for me.
That was what I did last time and they did found it for me. Just once.
This time, same like all the other times, not so lucky.
The computer lab is under maintainence, they asked me to check it out tomorrow.
HOPEFULLY, it will still be there tomorrow. Or kept by the lab assistant.
*Praying real hard*

Labels: Crappie

我讨厌自卑
我讨厌不伦不类
我讨厌自以为是
我讨厌花了大半辈子的时间，才发觉自己什么都不是
我讨厌自己的付出被当作是一种讨好
我讨厌被衡量
我讨厌后悔总是比时间迟来一步
我讨厌美丽的东西，它让我觉得自己的缺陷
我讨厌自己的笨拙
我讨厌常和有心无力扯在一起
我讨厌被标上坏女人的角色
我讨厌我的身材
我讨厌被看不起
我讨厌被取笑而无力反抗
我讨厌不被爱眷恋
我讨厌被真实蒙骗
我讨厌贪心厌旧
我讨厌接受不平等待遇
我讨厌过分的约束，但不向往无限的自由
我讨厌缺乏营养，不充实的生活
我讨厌被忽略被抛弃
我讨厌解释
我讨厌没有一个人可以让我完全得信任
我讨厌没自信
我讨厌死撑，很累
我讨厌我的讨厌！
我讨厌，我已经不懂什么是讨厌了。

—————————————————————————————

Labels: Crappie

I hate to be such a jealous freak!
Jealousy kills!
And I am ashamed to speak up that I am Jealous of You, You and You!
It is a waste of time to jealous at something or someone that I can never achieve.

Labels: Crappie

Still remember the days following my family to hunt for food, trying different restaurants and stalls.
There were nothing about booking or long queing. (unless in school's canteen)
The days where my classmates and I went to purchase movie tickets just half an hour before the showtime and still got good view seats.
Maybe cinema had became one of the top entertainment of the people these days, the movie tickets are almost sold out hours before the showtime.
For those popular or latest movie, I found that one day before the showtime, half of the cinema seats are reserved. (Kinda piss me off, because of the fully booking, I missed a lot of movie lately)
Look at today, wherever go, traffic jams and difficulty finding parking exist, for they jealousing the minimal stress that city peoply are having.
Sometimes, reaching the destination after such a drag, the news of fully booking or another time consuming queue can really affect the appetite or mood. The intention of celebration, relaxation or fulfillness is all gone by then.
Human invented cars to reduce the time needed to reach destinations but seems to me, it is not only polluting the mother earth but giving headache during the jams.
More and more highways and tunnels are built and yet, there don't seem to be enough. During peak hours, even the public transportations are fully loaded with people.
Once in a while is tolerable but this problem is getting worst especially in the city. And in the weekends or public holiday, it is out of your imagination.
Is this because of the growing population and limited land? Maybe shifting to the Moon is a good idea, who knows?


Happy Valentine's Day


Today is Valentine's Day. All that in my mind are not chocolate, flowers or lover. But traffic jams and long queue restaurants.
I used to get excited of the Valentine's Day. Not anymore.
My mom teased me for being single, and I just don't like the way she does that.
What will I be doing today? Believe it or not, I will spend my time with lots of schoolworks and houseworks. They are waiting for me.
I saw some people wrote Happy Single Day on their twitter and facebook.
It's nothing to be sad of if you are single, Dont Ever simply grab someone to be ur valentine just because you are lonely or single. It's the foolish act ever. Because if you are not truly connected with him/her, it's just a waste of time and money to celebrate valentine's day.

Anyway I still wish all the couples out there, A Happy Valentine's Day (:
On this day, do something that you rarely or don't have the courage to do, show and let him/her know your love. Just let it be obvious and extraordinary on this special day.
However, the exist of the Valentine's day doesn't mean that you can ignore fullfilling the promised love on the other days for the rest of the year.

Labels: Crappie

Sometimes I try to act strong, showing people that I am smart and I can handle it myself.
Sometimes I feel sorry to pretend, for I am weak inside and I don't want to go through it alone.
Sometimes I show the opposite of what I feel, what I am because I don't want to be read and understand.
Sometimes I hate being useless and lean on others, in fact, I got no one to lean on.
Sometimes I am arrogant for being admired and ashamed for those praises I don't deserve.
Sometimes I am afraid of the truth, I tell lie just to cover another lie.
Sometimes I still stand strong, even though I know justice is not by my side.
Sometimes I look down on those who complain how lifeless and pathetic they are.
Sometimes I complain about my life and feel bad to complain.
Sometimes I ...
                   am confused.

Labels: Crappie

Jan is in the house.
She is a passionate girl with big dreams, dreams where everything is beautiful.
She is bossy's lady, she doesn't rule the world but she rules her life.
She is Miss Perfection, that's the virginity of Virgo.


Stepping into her 20's
Never be ashamed to laugh
Shallow minded with deep thinking
 For  ordinary  is  a   bless


Live like today is the end of the world.
No one can live a life without regrets, but don't ever repeat the same mistake again.
Cause living is about falling learning and growing up.


Maybe some words cannot be understood, maybe some feelings cannot be expressed, totally indeed.
Here is just a place, a space for her to jot down some of her daily routines, thoughts, feelings and perhaps some secrets.





Create Your Badge


I yearn for my loved one's scream, which brings me sweet dreams.
Spam as you like, it isn't me who are being childish.





Style.com

TheBeautyDepartment.com

Garbagelapsap.com

张小娴的作品

我爱我的星座



Carrie
Harry
Jeanne
Jia Jia
Jillian Goh
Joe khoo
Josephine
Kim Bee
Kinki
Marcus
Peixi
Seb
Weiyang
WengHong
Viendarling
XiaoTiing
YinYin
YuQian



Hello?! Yes click here babeh. :D » November 2010 » December 2010 » January 2011 » February 2011 » March 2011 » April 2011 » May 2011 » June 2011 » July 2011 » August 2011 » September 2011 » October 2011 » November 2011 » December 2011 » January 2012 » September 2012

Just sit and watch, the journey begins


Smile,
for you will never know
who is falling in love with your Smile


Don't hide, Just shout!


Who cares about diet?

After what you had done to me, I only become stronger and wiser. I want to thank you for this.